This section should contain answers to questions about who I am
and what I do, but change is the only constant,
and the answers to those questions are no longer clear.

Ok, they've always been murky, bear with me on this.

Suffice it to say that I'm Mugsy, and I fix things.

Here are some questions that I hear fairly often,
but I thought that calling them FHQs would just confuse people.

If anyone has the answers to these, please send 'em to me.

12/2002: all B answers courtesy of Mark Banas who wins
mad karma points for his answer to question 1.

1: What's a mugsy?

A: the jury is still out on that one.

B: Everything beautiful and right with the world.

2: So, what exactly do you do?

A: see above

B: Apparently entertain you until you mess something up.

3: Where's DogTown?

A: Try asking - what is the chance that Mugsy is on a computer?

B: South of Beantown, north of Margaritaville.

4: Do cats live there too?

A: Mais Oui! ;)

B: Yes. And they kill things!

5: Can you install the Internet on my computer?

A: How big is your hard drive?

B: Prepare for rather large telecom bills.

6: Remember that thing you told me to do the next time I break something?

A: no, my random-access/mind-reading ability must be malfunctioning.

B: Of course I do. You just did it again! Now stop it!

7: You mean, I have to save a file more than once?

B: Well, sort of. You see there is this magical tiny land inside your computer that is populated by all of the "files" on your system. Life is rather tenous in the land where even the Bus Speeds, making for a Hard Drive. So if you don't Save your files, well, they might get hit and expire well before their time.

8: How much does a website cost?

B: What is your credit limit?

9: I got a 404 on Google, can you fix it?

B: Yes. Type -11.

10: I sent an email to you at <mugsy> why didn't you get it?

A: you didn't send it to TheMugsy - paulV

B: Use the "@" symbol instead of the word "at." Doesn't that feel better.

11: (phone call) There, did you see that?

B: Sorry, I was staring at the naked Peruvians in my kitchen.

12: Why not?

A: why not indeed.

alt.A: why not fame? (tx mexisara)

B: Because "negatory" sounds so...

13: Do you always answer questions with questions?

A: Do you have a problem with that? - JeanP

alt.A: Have you ever seen this movie?

B: Does it matter? (Match point)

14: Do you always answer A or B questions with yes?

A: See 13.

B: Twice.